This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
