Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
