so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
