Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The Olympian is in my bed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
