its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
