They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
