Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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