It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
