I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize