i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
