god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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