my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize