Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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