Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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