I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
