He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
