no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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