He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I am available for nakedness
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
