Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.

(917): View more from New York City

So many issues. You honestly need help.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.

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(+61): View more from Australia

After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect

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(631): View more from New York

duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!

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