Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
