I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
