and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize