A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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