He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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