I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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