let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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