Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My penis needs a shock collar
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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