no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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