Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
