I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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