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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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