I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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