You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
