I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
