We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
