living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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