No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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