I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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