Having a random hookup so left but love u
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
