Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
