Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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