does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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