i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
