i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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