Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
