lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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