I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
