how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Are we still banned from the library?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
