the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
