Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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