pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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