I can tuck mytits in my pants
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
