all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You've changed since you got that strap on
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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