All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
there is glitter all over my balls
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
