i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
