My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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