C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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