Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
