I got chris browned last night
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
