The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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