every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
